“Practice meditation. You’ll find that you are carrying within your heart a portable paradise.”
Paramahansa Yogananda, “the pioneering father of Yoga in the West.” A meditation expert, teacher, and guru from India, Yogananda established the Self-Realization Fellowship (SRF) in 1920, which continues to share his teachings across the world.
I’ve been meditating for about 5 years now. I started after making the decision to beat my anxiety- once and for all. (Or at least what I thought was anxiety; I later learned it was hypervigilance). I’d tried more than a couple of times before but could never stick to it; this time, I wouldn’t stop until I was free.
At first, I listened to guided meditations while lying down- on my bed, the couch, or even reclining in the seat of my car while waiting to pick up my daughter from school. Guided meditations were my best option because I couldn’t calm my (forever restless) mind, and lying down helped induce relaxation. I also spent small chunks of my free time scrolling through inspirational quotes about meditation on Pinterest to keep my motivation up.
This was my general routine for quite a long time. And it helped. It wasn’t necessarily life-changing, but it was better.
I’ve previously written about starting to see bright-colored lights while meditating. That was more than 3 years in. In that post, I included quotes from several meditation experts saying to pay little attention to the lights lest they distract from the real purpose of meditation.
I’ll admit it, I got a little distracted. I couldn’t help it; I hadn’t been aware of the phenomena, and they were beautiful, like nothing I’d ever seen. Instead of striving to dive deeper, I’d just lay back and watch them. It was delightful, but my progress plateaued.
Meanwhile, I was still scrolling through Pinterest now and then and eventually started to see some pins in my feed with quotes from Paramahansa Yogananda. And, almost immediately, something clicked. I can’t really explain what made those different than any of the other pins I had seen, saved, and been inspired by, but it was definitely something.
I ended up reading his book, Autobiography of a Yogi. I liked everything he said in that, too, so I signed up for his meditation lessons through the SRF and even tried out some of their online group meditations. (I also started sitting for my meditations, which may not seem noteworthy, but sitting cross-legged for extended periods takes some practice without having your legs fall asleep! At least when you aren’t used to it).
My meditations gradually deepened after learning Yogananda’s tips and practicing his techniques. Eventually, I found a sense of calm that I’d never felt before. And it was life-changing. Because when you can fully calm your mind, you clear the way for realizations, revelations, and breakthroughs. We’re all on a journey, right? This was my key to finally moving past everything holding me back.
That said, I don’t feel it every meditation, not even close. And I’m sure there will always be days when I am too stressed, excited, or restless to go that deep. But it is happening more often. (Much like the tortoise and the hare- slow and steady wins the race).
Sometimes, that feeling will stay with me as I move on through my day; like a protective bubble, it staves off any stressors, struggles, or frustrations that might pop up. Other times, it fades when I open my eyes, and all bets are off. But it’s okay when it doesn’t last or even when I don’t get there. Knowing it’s possible comforts me on a level I can’t describe.
The ability to find that freeing state of deep calm, where nothing in the world can touch my newfound sense of peace and contentment, is so much more than worth the years of effort. After spending the majority of my life feeling unsafe and on guard, it is one of the most significant things that I could experience. And it is- slowly but surely- leading the way to more positive change. Don’t get me wrong, I still have a long way to go. But it feels like I am finally on track to get there. One meditation at a time.
IMBALANCED 