When it comes to trauma, the focus is almost always on the negatives. This isn’t exactly surprising. There are a lot of them and they are important to be aware of. But, a 2018 study proved that there is also a bright side.
In addition to all of the well-documented negative outcomes, trauma survivors also exhibit some important positive ones, including recovery and resilience. According to researchers, resilience can be seen in various “self-enhancement” coping styles and personality traits, differences in neurobiology, and opportunities for positive psychological changes and personal improvements. These are gained as a direct result of coping with the trauma.
A connection has also been found between childhood trauma and the development of one of the most beneficial qualities a person can possess: empathy.
A Closer Look at Empathy
In the study, empathy was defined as the ability to recognize another person’s thoughts and feelings, and to respond with an appropriate emotion.
Types of Empathy
There are three types of empathy: cognitive, affective, and sympathy.
- Cognitive Empathy– the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, to imagine their emotional states, and predict their behavior on the basis of their mental states
- Affective Empathy– the drive you feel to respond to someone else’s mental state with an appropriate emotion.
- Sympathy– a special case of affective empathy that reflects your response to someone else’s feelings of distress, which may lead to attempts to alleviate their pain or suffering.
The Relationship Between Trauma and Empathy
Trauma increases our attention to emotion and environmental cues and increases amygdala responsiveness (which involves emotional attentiveness). This increase in awareness could improve our ability to recognize, understand, and react appropriately to these states in others, in comparison to individuals who have not had a traumatic experience.
The Positive Effects of Adversity, According to Research:
- adversity can be linked to an increase in prosocial and altruistic behavior
- the severity of past adversity can lead to increased compassion, a link that is mediated by empathy
Hyper-Empathy: Empathy at its Most Extreme
The amount of empathy a person has can make a big difference in their interactions with others. Too little, they could be perceived as cold and insensitive. Too much, and they might end up isolating themselves as an act of self-protection. The latter is a potential consequence of what is known as hyper-empathy.
Hyper-empathy is a term that describes the phenomenon when an individual is too in touch with the emotional states of others, leading them to feel tired or worn out just by hanging out with other people.
Some signs of hyper-empathy include:
- Knowing how someone is feeling without them telling you
- Deeply experiencing someone else’s feelings when they tell you about them, even when they are going through something you have never gone through
- Understanding the hierarchy and dynamics of a group of people without being informed of them
- Feeling overwhelmed when people discuss their emotions with you
- Anxious attachment
- Lacking boundaries because your own needs feel less important than others
- Overwhelm at physical contact with others
*An important note: Many individuals identify as “empaths” – meaning they exhibit some or all of the signs of hyper-empathy. Some claim that empaths are made by trauma, but that isn’t always the case. Childhood trauma is one of several ways a person can develop hyper-empathy.
Healing Childhood Trauma as an Adult
Appreciating the value of this unique and admirable quality borne from enduring unjustified pain and suffering in childhood is an effective way to shift the focus from negative to positive. Taking steps to work through your childhood trauma can further aid recovery and keep symptoms of hyper-empathy in check.
Judith Orloff, M.D., author of The Empath’s Survival Guide, offers seven steps to heal from trauma and thrive as an empath:
1. Journal About Early Traumas
A perfect first step is journaling about your early traumas in order to free yourself of the past. No trauma is “too small to count.”
2. Save Your Inner Child
As you revisit your trauma, pay attention to what age you were when it happened, as well as where the trauma occurred. Picture yourself going back to the location and retrieving your inner child, who is still stuck in that place.
Tell them: “I am sorry you were hurt and I will never allow that to happen to you again.”
Then, bring the child home with you to love and care for them.
3. Release the Emotions
The healing process will bring many emotions to the surface, such as anger, fear, depression, and self-doubt. Allow yourself to feel these emotions and express them. A safe place to do this is with a supportive therapist.
4. Set Boundaries
It is normal for sensitive people to fear disappointing others, but it is important to say “No” when something doesn’t feel right and to stick up for yourself when someone isn’t treating you well.
5. Conscious Breathing
Calm your nervous system with a few slow, deep breaths when your old traumas are triggered. Let yourself reach a state of calm before responding.
6. Meditate
Meditation has been proven to decrease sensory overload to keep your system in a peaceful state. Meditating regularly will help calm your mind, body, and soul.
7. Self-Compassion
As you go through the difficult process of healing, shower yourself with love, kindness, and understanding. You are a caring person and deserve to be loved.
Trauma sucks, there’s no way around it. But, the development of empathy is the silver lining.
When it comes to trauma, research mainly focuses on the negative. It’s important to recognize that there is another side to it, too: recovery and resilience. Resilience in the aftermath of trauma can inspire personal growth and transformation, including the development of empathy. The three forms of empathy- cognitive, affective, and sympathy- work together to improve one’s ability to recognize, understand, and react to the emotional states of others. The more adverse the trauma, the more empathy a person can develop, in some cases leading to hyper-empathy. Though it can be difficult to manage at times, there are some steps you can take that will both keep it in check and help you heal.
Empathy provides “…hope to help shape a more civil society, respectful discourse, understanding of others, and a humane world.”
Helen Rice, M.D., author of The Empathy Effect
REFERENCES:
- Greenberg, D., Baron-Cohen, S., Rosenberg, N., Fonagy, P., Rentfrow, P. (2018, October 3). Elevated empathy in adults following childhood trauma. National Library of Medicine. <https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6169872/>
- Resnick, A. (2023, January 24). Navigating the Experience of Hyper-Empathy in Autism. Very Well Mind. 2024. <https://www.verywellmind.com/hyper-empathy-in-autism-8426957>
- Orloff, J. (2020, June 30). 7 Ways Empaths Can Heal From Trauma and PTSD. Psychology Today. 2024. <https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-empaths-survival-guide/202006/7-ways-empaths-can-heal-trauma-and-ptsd>
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